Thursday, July 3, 2014

Shiny Shoes

These pictures are from last month's trip to Carlsbad, but that's cool, right? I've worn this outfit a few times since then, really, except for the shoes. Those fell apart the day after I took these pictures. I'm still heartbroken. I need more copper sandals!


Dress (worn as skirt): WalMart | Top: Marshall's | Flannel: thrifted | Bracelets, necklace, sandals: Forever 21 | Sunglasses: Charming Charlie | Barrette: vintage

Thursday, June 26, 2014

On the Visible Fat Girl


Let me be really, truly real here: visible fat people on the internet changed my life. There's absolutely no exaggeration there. I'd started changing my style around junior year of high school before getting into body acceptance and fat acceptance, but once I found those, it was like opening a door I hadn't even known existed. Torrid was a nice entry into dressing my fat body; visible fatness was a storm of learning not to hate my body.
I've already made a post about my style evolution, and I like the explanation that offers for my personal journey. But that's just it: it's about my journey. Yeah, that's a big part of why I blog, but it's not the only one.
I've recently slid down the hill a little and lost some camera confidence. I'm more than happy to wear spaghetti straps or short skirts or whatever, and I'm happy to have pictures taken of me. I'm still having trouble with the taking-pictures-of-myself bit, but I am working on it! That's a different sort of bravery for me. And my bravery isn't just for me.
I blog mostly for me, but maybe there are people who read what I have to say (even if I don't say it often (sorry)) and maybe I give them a little more confidence. Maybe my visibly fat body helps them. Maybe I'm that inspiration I got back in the day. I don't blog often anymore (I know, I know), but I do still try because being visibly, open, unashamedly fat is a big deal. It's far more revolutionary than ModCloth carrying plus sizes (that are still too expensive, but that's cause I'm a little cheap). Plus-size bloggers are incredible. They've given me the confidence to wear half of the stuff in my wardrobe today, and they gave me the confidence to get a fatkini this year.
That, and quite a few of my fat babe friends got bikinis from Forever 21, and that's where mine's from.
And when my friends and I went to the beach a couple weeks ago, I wore it. In public. Proudly, with rolls and softness and pastiness and a healing sunburn from San Diego.
My sunglasses are from Charming Charlie, and
they're super cute. I need a better picture.
 One day!
Erika asked how it felt to wear it, whether it was scary or not, and I'll be honest: it was, for maybe two minutes. But for me, it wasn't necessarily freeing or empowering. It was just nice. I felt really cute, and I was happy, and I would never have even thought about baring my belly three years ago. Now, I'm thinking that I'd really like some crop tops to wear with circle skirts. Now, I'm so much less afraid. And that's because of the community I've found and dabbled in.
So, yeah. Visible fat people are incredibly important, even if it just inspires someone with deep-seated body image issues to buy her first bikini since childhood.

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Blackened Gator, White Sands

So I know I promised a post about my Alabama adventure, so here it finally is! Casey and I went during my spring break and stayed with my aunt and uncle in their lovely condo overlooking the gulf. During this adventure, there were multiple arcades, really good meals, a few episodes of My Mad Fat Diary, jellyfish, songs poorly done via karaoke, and a whole myriad of other awesome things.
None of this negates the fact that the Waffle House has disappointing waffles, considering its name.
Live Bait, where they have good po' boys and
good karaoke!

We didn't try the blackened gator. Sorry.




Thursday, May 8, 2014

What's In Your Purse?

So I should be better at announcing when I'm going on hiatus, but as it happens, I'm really bad at that. Sorry! It's been a long semester, and I still have about a week till I'm done. Soon, though!
I mean, it's the long semester bit, and also a crisis of confidence, but I'm hoping for a good summer. And I have adventures and stuff to keep the world caught up on, because let's be real: this is more of a personal blog than anything, especially while I'm not posting outfit pictures.
Anyway, I was contacted by someone at Credit Card Insider about this campaign they're doing called, as the post has already hinted: What's In Your Purse? And since I'm the furthest thing from a financial mogul, or an anything mogul, I'm just gonna talk about some of the nonsense I keep with me all the time.
 So, here's all the stuff I keep with me everywhere I go, save a pair of sunglasses. Those were still on my head when I took the picture. They're super cute, too.

  • I'm never without a notebook, and this is the one I favor. As I'm sure we all know, I do a lot of writing, and this is my best way of keeping it organized and, you know, existent. Casey got this for me for Christmas a couple years ago.
  • A compact is a great thing to have, especially on days where I actually do The Makeup Thing. This one is from Forever 21.
  • Pens are, of course, vital. This one's cool, cause it also has a touchscreen stylus on the top. My mom get a trillion of them for work, and by extension, so do I.
  • Keys are also necessary, for obvious reasons.
  • And my wallet, which I got for maybe five bucks at Ross. It's one of the brightest things I own, and lots of people like to joke about how there's no way I'd be able to lose it. They would be right.
  • Lipstick/chapstick/so on/so forth of the day. Today, it's Maybelline's Baby Lips in Cherry Me.
  • And my cell phone, also for obvious reasons.

Oh, and this is the purse I've been using most often! It's from Target, and my mom got it for me for Christmas this last year. It has more pockets than I expected, and more room than logically makes sense.
Okay, okay, back to studying! I have four finals next week, and then I'm free! And I say this a lot, but I do plan on being a lot more present this summer! I haven't been reading blogs or posting or even taking many pictures, and I really, really miss it. Soon!
See you then!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Best Kind of Party

I'll be the first to admit that the best kind of party is a pizza party. The second best is definitely a pattern party. This is one of those combinations that would make my mom shake her head and call me absurd or something, and let me tell you, it's one of those combinations that I'm kind of really fond of. It's both girly and gentlemanly, and it's a little ridiculous. And we all know that I like the ridiculous. I mean, look at the title of this blog!
I know I'm getting really out of practice with the ways of the OOTD, to the point where I am honestly having a bit of trouble figuring out cute, new outfits with all of my existing stuff. So bear with me as I sort of feel my way back into something like regular blogging, okay? I'm trying, guys, I promise.




Sweater: Forever 21 | Dress: eShakti | Shoes: Marshall's | Sunglasses, errings: Claire's
And, yes, I'm still trying to get used to using a tripod. It's a work in progress. That's a thing. Also, I've just noticed what out cats have done to the screen of that window. Pests.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Saddle Shoes of Death

So it turns out that I'm really bad at posting every day. Or regularly at all. These are things we all learn.
I finally went out and took pictures, though, which I count as a victory. There were people down the street, and they could see me taking pictures of myself with my tripod and everything. But I persevered.
It's a little silly that I haven't taken a picture of this outfit yet, considering how often I wear it and how much I like it. But then, I haven't taken many pictures of outfits at all in the past few months. Sorry about that. I am still on various places on the internet, though! It's amazing how much time a person can spend sleeping, or knitting, or playing Portal. I am perpetually amazed.
How has your year been so far?

Please, someome tell my hair to stop doing what it's doing and
just cooperate.

Top, shoes: Forever 21 | Dress: Old Navy (courtesy of Dani) | Tights: WalMart | Earrings: Sedona | Sunglasses: Firmoo.com
And I am so, so, so behind on all of my bog reading. I know how I'm gonna spend the next week! I miss you all dearly, and I need to actually stay caught up on stuff.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Sacrilege

The body is sacred ground. It is hallowed, consecrated, holy and beautiful. We see it in variations of good, bad, and worse. Our lives are devoted the maintenance of the idols of our bodies, though we see ourselves as sinners.
Oh, I shouldn’t. The murmurs pass your lips before anything else, like a password that negates the molecular sparkle of sugar across your tongue. A blessing in reverse, maybe, or a counter spell. An antidote to a simple pleasure.
We’re taught from an early age, with our stubby legs and hungry eyes, that life is more than just black and white. It exists in gradations of the two, blending and blurring and smearing the lines. Of course, there are those who would draw over them again in permanent marker. There are those who etch new lines into the barren earth of our malleable hearts to trap us.
Life is so much more than black, white, or grey. It is an explosive cacophony of color, a riot of reds and purples and blues and golds, spilling across our fragile bones in grand swaths of sunsets and argon. Oh, I musn’t, you whisper with a white brush of stitches across your lips. Oh, I can’t, you echo as you paint calories burned in black lines across your skin.
We are the cavalry, the infantry struggling against something far more insidious than bullets or mustard gas. We gasp and choke on words that taste like chlorine gas and gather in our lungs, saving up for later attacks in the dead of night. We struggle and we fight and we forget.
Our bodies are canvases and pens and microphones. They’re art. They’re poetry, they’re music, they’re tributes to every day the sun shone on our skin and every mistake we survived.
Holy things survive because we keep them in cases of gold and glass, but they crumble upon contact. They survive because they go untouched, and dust gathers, filling creases and folds and the tiny imperfections we proclaim to worship in one breath and damn in the next. Some things, though, live on and on and keep going because they’re tenacious and robust, and if the body is not a tool of survival, there is no such thing.
The most important thing is to shuck off the heavy, ill-fitting vestments of our religion, of hating our bodies. We are not cheap imitations of gilded idols. We are swirling bits of life, the most wonderful and poorly thought-out force which survived fires and asteroid impacts and diseases and the ocean pounding it into submission.
The body is neither sacred nor blasphemous. It simply is, and that’s amazing enough.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Day After Finals

I'm finally done with the semester and finally back home, and it's nice. To celebrate, I slept in until two. And to continue celebrating, I wore my favorite sweater.
Sweater: Forever 21 | Skirt: mom | Shoes: DIY | Sunglasses: Tilly's | Necklace: vintage
It's good to be back, guys. And that's something I'll celebrate by scaring myself silly with Bioshock.

Monday, December 9, 2013

On the Hiatus

Oh my gosh, you guys, I am so sorry I've allowed so much of the semester to go by without saying anything to you all about a hiatus. Honestly, I didn't expect there to be one. I've been busy all through the semester, writing (and more writing) and being in the bio club and doing a ton of chemistry homework, but not busy enough to really justify ignoring this blog. Part of it is that I really have been pressed for inspiration, so no body image posts or silly lists with things I want. Most of it, though, is that I'm still, still not feeling confident enough to take pictures of myself in relatively public spaces. Because, let's be real, even my bedroom counts as a public space. That's something to fix, though.
So the hiatus will continue for another few days. A week, to be precise. Finals sort of take precedence over everything else, you know? But the second I'm allowed to cheer about winter break, I'll start something new. Something silly and simple, but hopefully something that'll jump start this blog again. I mean, it's nothing more than making a post a day, every single day, but I think it's enough. No gimmick needed.
Thank you for being patient with me, you guys. Sorry if I worried you, and I'm sorry I'm so ridiculously behind on your blogs. I promise you'll see more of me soon!
(And if you're a fat babe in the LA area, there's going to be another meetup! It's December 15th at 2:00, at Grand Park. You can get more info here!)

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Awards

I received an email today about the navabi Curvy Blog Award, and my first reaction was guilt. I've been negligent to this blog, and all of the other social platforms I maintain. Posting is still a rare thing, whether it's an outfit picture or a monologue on diet culture. I'm not at all caught up on any of your wonderful blogs, and I haven't been for months.
I was tempted to nominate myself and call it an incentive, but I think I'll try again next year if I return to my better-blogging ways.
As it is, I did put in a nomination.
Dear Sian: good luck.