An Ode: Stripes for Days

While searching for my fairly absurd inspirational pictures for my last Marvelous Monday post, I came across a lot of reasons to love horizontal stripes.
I mean, come on, they're so classic and wonderful and good.
So, here. Enjoy this random compilation of pictures where horizontal stripes are wonderful.
EDIT:Now with added bonus stories, as requested by Therese.*

Ivan was voted Most Likely to Set Fire
with That Smolder while in the navy.

The higher the hair, the closer to God; the
better the stripes, the closer to perfection.

These are vertical, but I don't care,
she is always too adorable for words.

Picasso didn't always paint Icarus metaphors;
sometimes, he just painted divers.

Why stand around and look adequate
when you can stand around and look
amazing by adding stripes?

Coco liked pattern mixing perhaps a bit too
much; the dog wasn't born with his spots.

James often worked on his Sultry Stare
over breakfast, as he found that the
heat of it could keep his waffles warm.

The Ladies' Society for Sailed Flotation Devices didn't
ordinarily do so well during fundraisers, but with Esther's
idea to alter the dress code, they suddenly found their group
flush with money.

Audrey's fondest memories were of discussing
world domination with other actors, such as Liz
Taylor and Carey Grant—but not Bill Holden.

It has been scientifically proven that
pairing red with black and white stripes
make one 110% cuter.

*These pictures are of real people, but my stories are just that: stories. I found these pictures through Google, and thus don't even know most of these guys' names. Worth it.